Scarred, mentally and physically, but I have you
by Sofiex33
Summary: He looks so peaceful, and almost like the boy before the Games, I feel a smile come up on my face. I'll never forget that memory, and I'll never stop owing a bunch of people. I slide back down and rest my head on his chest, he kisses my head and puts an arm around me. He always kept the nightmares away, he was the answer to it, and he healed me.
1. Chapter 1: The Make Up

**So this practically takes place before they have children, and after she said "Real." Um. Cool. Hope you enjoy?**

* * *

In the morning, I wake up screaming and I look for Peeta, which as always, is next to me and his expression is alarmed. One of his arms are around me trying to calm me down, by stroking my arm.

"Dont worry Peeta, it was just a nightmare, Im okay," I say taking deep breaths. I just can't seem to make the nightmares go away even though Panem is at peace. "Did you have any nightmares, Peeta?" I ask.

Peeta moves a strand of hair away from my face and frowns. "Of course," says Peeta.

I sit up and look at him curiously. I hate it when I don't know when he has nightmares. "What was it about?" I ask him. When he's about to tell me, I sit in front of him, cris-crossed, looking at his eyes.

"It was back in the 74th Hunger Games, I saw Cato go to you with a knife and you were running away. I tried to catch up but, you kept running farther and farther to the point where I couldn't see you. I tried to look for you, but my leg was still injured," he says. "Then, I heard the cannon, I thought my life was over, well, because you are my life." he stops and smiles and continues. "Anyway, Cato came running towards me, suddenly, he turned into a mutt, bit off my leg, and I saw your body, dead, next to him. He laughed at me with satisfaction, and ate the rest of me slowly."

Wow, I think. I frown, and look down thinking of what would I do if Peeta died and I couldn't save him. Losing the boy with the bread forever. Peeta sees the expression on my face, and lifts my chin with his index finger, to where our eyes meet. "Then, you woke up and you did what I did, looking to see if I was here?" I ask.

He nods and says, "My nightmares are all about losing you. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without you." He pauses for a moment and continues, "When I wake up and see you next to me, I feel lucky, to have you." I smile and blush, he always knows what to say and how to cheer me up.

"Do you want to know my nightmare?" I ask him. He nods, so I tell him. "It was when we were in the Quarter Quell and your heart stopped. I was going to shoot him with my bow and arrow, but then a memory came, about how I almost lost you in the Hunger Games, and distracted me, then a twig snapped and it regained my focus to what was happening. I watched in horror of Finnick chopping up parts of you and he looks at me, standing up, headed towards me. I ran as fast as I could but, he's faster than me so, he threw his trident at the tree in front of me, barely missing me, trying to kill me. I looked at it and I thought to myself, Finnick Odair is trying to kill me. He stood in front of me, ready to kill me, I started running, I quickly moved a branch so he could trip, and it worked. I saw Cato running as the mutts were chasing him. Prim, Gale, my mother, and Rue got chewed up by the mutts, Rue tried to keep fighting, then the mutts caught my scent and were about to eat me like the rest and thats when I woke up," I said it so fast, it took him two minutes to get all the words together.

He wraps me in his arms and whispers into my hair, "I'm right here Katniss, alive and breathing. I'm sorry." I start crying after the thought of Rue and Prim. "It's going to be all right, okay? I promise, I won't let anything hurt you," he says softly.

"I'm hungry for some cheese buns," I whisper and smile. He releases me, picks me up, and takes me downstairs to the kitchen. He puts me down and he looks unsure about something. "What?" I finally say. The door bell rings and Peeta rushes to open it. He's whispering to someone, but I can't make out what he's saying. "I'll get her just wait here," says Peeta.

"Who is it?" No answer. "Peeta, who is it at the door?" I'm starting to get mad now so, I walk up to the door, where it's open by a crack, and place my hand on the knob. "It's Gale," he answers. I freeze. What? Gale is here? What is he doing here? Doesn't he know that I won't forgive him after he killed Prim? Peeta pulls me by his side and grips my hand. "Come in, Gale," he says calmly but a little worried.

Gale opens the door and walks in, not making eye contact with me, instead, he looks at Peeta. "Nice to see you again, Peeta and Katniss," says Gale. Gale looks at me and looks from side to side.

"What are you doing here, Gale?" I ask bitterly. I dont want him here, he killed Prim!

Gale studies my face for a second and sighs. "You're still mad at me aren't you?" he asks disappointedly.

"Why would I ever forgive you when you killed Prim?" I snap at him.

"Katniss, yes, they were my bombs, but I didn't know they would send them out, they were for the Capitol kids." He pauses for a second and looks at my face, knowing that I'm not convinced yet so, he continues explaining. "I didn't know Katniss, Coin sent Prim out when she knew Prim would die from the bombs, she knew you love Prim more than anything! She hated you! She wanted to break you!" His tone went from calm to angry.

"I know Gale, that she hated me but, you didn't even say sorry and after that you moved to District 2, don't you think I was hurt enough?" I say, trying not to cry.

Gale walks up to me and sees my expression then hugs me tight. That's when I start crying, he wipes my tears and he let's go. Peeta walks to the kitchen probably to let us talk so we go to the living room. I sit on the couch and Gale comes to sit next to me. "Katniss, I was hurt too, knowing that you went to Peeta but, I'm happy for you guys," says Gale. "I'm sorry for not saying sorry to you and I knew you were hurt also," he adds. I look down with my hair in my face. "Catnip, look at me," he says calmly.

I remember what he told me when I kissed him in District 13, "I knew you would kiss me." "How?" "I'm in pain, that's the way I get your attention" That's the look he had when we were back in 13 and right now. I look up and stare at his eyes. "Gale..." I whisper. I start crying again and he hugs me. "I miss hunting with you. Do you want to go hunting?" I say with a smile. He lets me go, standing up and holding out his hand. I wipe my tears with my hand, and get myself together.

"Of coarse I would like to go hunting with you, I'm not stupid," says Gale. He's happy because we haven't hunted together since we lived in District 13. He goes to the closet where the weapons are for hunting and gives me my bow and arrows. Gale opens the door and I stop walking. I have to tell Peeta that we're going hunting because he'll worry that Gale might've kidnapped me or something. "What?" he asks.

"I'll be right back, okay?" I say while heading to the kitchen where Peeta is making cheese buns. "Gale and I are going to go hunting, alright?" I say. "Cheese buns? Mmm," I add.

"Yeah, just for you, sweetheart," says Peeta. He embraces me and kisses my forehead. "Be safe, alright? Just don't let him touch you, I love you," he adds.

"I'll make sure he won't, I love you too," I say kissing his cheek. I walk back to the door smiling and I see Gale waiting. "Back," I say.

"Hey, have you used this in a while?" he says while holding up my old bow and arrow before the reaping. All the memories come back, Prim, with her little shirt in the back that's like her little duck tail, District 12 still there, Darius not being an Avox, everyone that sacrificed their life for me, alive.

"No I haven't, actually," I whisper. Gale looks at me and figures what I'm thinking about.

"All right, well, let's go then," he says while opening the door and holds it open for me and closes it behind him. He walks with me, neither of us speaks. "Katniss," he says breaking the silence.

"Yes?" I ask curiously. I wonder what he's thinking about. Gale stops walking and places his hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes, as if he was going to kiss me or tell me that he still loves me, but that's not it. "If you could, would you go back in time before everything happened?" he asks. I'm always asked this question I don't know how many times, it gets annoying, yet I still answer him.

"I would for the hunting, our friendship and for Peeta being tortured by the Capitol but, I wouldn't because there would still be the Hunger Games and President Snow would still be our leader if any of this never happened," I say.

"Oh same, about the Hunger Games and President Snow," he says smiling continues walking, I follow him, as he takes the lead.

"So, where are you taking me?" I say curiously. I don't see no woods yet or the lake that my father and I always went to, it just looks like we're going the opposite way.

"Trust me, I know where I'm going," says Gale. We have been walking for about five minutes and he turns to me. "Okay, Katniss, I don't know where we are going," he says and stops walking.

I laugh, and lead the way to the woods. "Gale, you don't remember where the woods are? Or, do you just don't know how to get to the woods from my house?" I joke.

"Well, you have been hunting lately, right?" he asks. I nod. "Then, you know how to get to the woods from your house, I haven't been to your house in a while," says Gale.

"You've been gone for a while so, yeah, and it is my house Gale," I say while laughing. We walk into the woods and Gale sets some snares. He's always good with snares and he has luck with them, as always. I'm not as good with snares as he is, but at least it's as good to survive.

As we keep walking into the woods, I notice that everything green, quiet and you can hear your heartbeat. Peaceful, ever since President Snow and the Hunger Games don't exist anymore, but it was always like this. Everytime I come hunting and go by that bush of berries that Gale and I always threw them in each others mouth and said, "May the odds... be ever in your favor!" In the accent of the Capitol, the memory of the day of the reaping when Prim's name was called and I took her place. I trip over a rock and, I catch my balance. Gale looks at me and he's alarmed, to hurt anything that tries to hurt me. I spot the place where I sat on the rock with Cressida, then the memories come in, when Finnick was alive and so was Prim. When people came with me from District 13 for a propo and I sang The Hanging Tree, everyone was staring at me. When things between Gale and I were awkward and I didn't think he would catch the berry in his mouth when I threw it high up in the air. Here I am, alive, when mostly everyone that I cared about are dead. They sacrificed their life for mine like when Finnick was eaten up by those mutts trying to kill me. Rue, who was the youngest, and reminded me of Prim, was emotional for me. Prim, what I was told that Coin planned to her on purpose, I miss her so much, and I have hatred towards Coin even though she's dead. Gale taps my shoulder, and I look at him, his eyes in worry, and I look at my position, and I'm crouched down, elbows on my thighs, my head braced between my hands. I stand up, look at him, and nod confirming that I'm okay. We walk in silence and I spot a wild turkey, load my bow and arrow, trying not to make a sound, then hit it right in its eye. Gale gets it and I put it into my game bag. I ask him how his job is in District 2, he says that it's okay and it gives enough money. I should be happy, I am though it's that I miss hunting with him, but at least he has a good life, job, and probably a girlfriend, and he'll be alright. Gale shoots 3 squirrels, we go to the house where I told him about running away, and skin our game quietly. I don't bring much game home because Peeta probably made a bunch of cheese buns.

After we're done we walk by the bush of berries again I look at it and walk past it, only Gale doesn't. He picks a berry, throws it in a high arch and says, "May the odds..." I turn around and catch it in my mouth as the sweet flavor spreads through my mouth. "Be ever in your favor!" I finish. We both laugh and head back to my house. He holds the door open for me and closes it behind him. We walk to the closet and put the bow and arrow back. "Hey, I have the week off so, do you think that I can use one of these houses?" Gale asks.

"Sure, you can stay in Peeta's old house." I hope he won't mind letting Gale stay there, we practically live in my house together. "Wait here," I add. I go to the kitchen and I find Peeta in the chair as he tries to make the nightmares go away and not go insane. I quietly go towards him and he seems back to normal, I didn't notice this, I see things broken on the floor. "Peeta," I whisper and grap his hand. He opens his eyes, his muscles relax, and looks at me.

"Yes," he says quietly. I wish he never got tortured, but the only thing that matters is that he can control himself and that he's here with me.

"Can Gale stay in your house for the week? He doesn't have another place to stay," I say. It takes him a minute to reply, making sure he's back on Earth.

"Yes he can, the keys are by the door," he says. I stand there looking at him and go to the door and get the keys. I turn around and Gale is sitting on the chair looking at the old picture of Prim, my mother and I.

"Hey, Gale he said that you can stay in his house, it's three houses down to mine," I tell him and give him the keys. He tells me to tell him thanks and heads out.

I walk to the kitchen, and see Peeta put a plate with some cheese buns for me. I forgot that I had game, so I run towards the front door, get it, and cook it. I sit next to Peeta and nibble on some cheese buns. "Do you want some turkey?" I offer.

"Yeah, sure," he responds. I get up, and I put some spices on it then put it in the oven. The thing about the ovens here is that it cooks anything faster than it should.

"Peeta, did you help Gale come here or make him come?" I ask him. I bet he did, probably to finally make us forgive each other.

"I did, actually, because I knew that you would eventually and that it's not good that you were still mad at him," says Peeta. They're not friends, or enemies, I don't get it, but at least me and Gale are all right now.

I don't respond and I just eat the cheese buns in silence staring out the window, until I say, "Well thanks."

Peeta nods, throws our napkins away, and sits back down. The oven makes a noise that means the turkey is done. I take it out, put it on the table, get a knife and cut it. Then I get two plates and set them down.

"Do you still want some turkey?" I ask.

"I do," he responds not making a move. I put some on his plate and some on mine. I get two forks, give one to him, and eat. I wonder what he's thinking, probably that its quiet and if I got mad at him or something. I'm not mad at him at all though.

"Everything okay, Peeta?" I finally say. I honestly don't know why it's quiet maybe because of today with Gale and his nightmares.

"Yeah everything is fine, I just have things on my mind," says Peeta. All I could think is, if everything is fine then what would be on your mind?

"Like what?" I say. He debates whether to say it or not, because he's taking awhile to reply.

"Have you ever thought of having children?" he asks.

* * *

Herro. So I'm new at this. Uh. Sorry if its horrible.


	2. Chapter 2: Hunting Partner

Children. I couldn't have children, I mean I can, but it will remind me of Prim and Rue, watching them grow up. I feel my eyes tearing up, so I leave and I hear Peeta sigh in regret of mentioning it.

I walk over to Haymitch's house and find him laying on the floor with a bottle in one of his hands and a knife in the other. I go by him and bend down. "Haymitch! Wake up!" I yell at him and thump his head. He jerks up and waves the knife in the air.

"What? Why am I wet?" he asks and looks at the alcohol. "Oh, never mind. What do you want, Katniss?" I tell him everything about how Gale came and what Peeta said about having children, I expected him to help me about it or advice, but all he does is laugh. "So? Give him what he wants, sweetheart and maybe they'll end up like Prim or Rue!"

"Hey, Haymitch, do me a favor and stand up," I tell him and he stands up. My hand makes a fist and he notices, his eyes go wide and he tries to say sorry, I punch him in the stomach before he can and he falls to the floor, curled up up in a ball. I turn around and head out the door, as I leave I hear him get up and fall back to the floor. I slam the door and look side to side, not knowing where to go.

I find myself in front of Peeta's house. I open the door and I see Gale laying down on the couch, asleep. I make my way towards him and I sit on the chair that's closest to the couch. He opens his eyes and looks around, he's startled when he sees my, not knowing that I was here for a while. He sits up and stretches.

"Oh, hey, I don't know you were here," he says while yawning. He laughs and looks at me.

"Yeah, I just got here a while ago," I say and I look around, expecting to see a suitcase or bags of clothes. "Didn't you bring clothes?"

"I took a nap waiting for them to bring it, I had them deliver it by a hovercraft," he says. He must've packed them then called them to bring it. I nod and look down. "So, what bring you over?"

"Nothing, I can't come over?" I lie. He knows I'm lying and he just stays there staring at me. "Ugh! Okay, I wanted to talk to you," I try to pull off.

"Oh, well what do you want to talk about?" he asks. He pats the cushion next to him and I sit next to him.

I hesitate of telling him what Peeta said about children, so I shrug. I try not to give myself away, by acting like I just wanted to visit or talk. I don't make eye contact with him, but I see him looking at me waiting for me to say everything, only I don't. Someone knocks on the door, probably for his suitcase, he gets up and opens it. It's Peeta. I take off my shoes and quietly hide in the hall closet.

"She's not here... No I don't know where she would be, probably in the woods, but we went hunting ready... Maybe she went hiding in the-" Peeta doesn't let him finish. I hear footsteps coming closer and closer, two pairs of feet now. Damn! I forgot he knew my hiding spots. They stop and I try to disguise myself into the darkness by making myself into a ball. The door opens and he comes into the closet. "See she's not in this closet or any other," says Gale. Peeta kicks my leg and I try not to move or make a sound, instead I bite my lip.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks. He knows I'm here, but won't go away until I show myself. "I know you're in here, this is your hiding spot that you could reach at." Damn, he knows me too well.

I stand up and look at him. "Gale, I need to talk to Peeta alone," I say. Gale leaves and closes the door. I turn on the light, we're just there staring at each other, waiting for one of us to speak. "I'm sorry I left."

"It's okay, I shouldn't have brought it up. It's all my fault," he says. I love him, I need him, and want him, and I noticed that one day.

*Flashback*

It was Peeta and I, in my home, it was like our routine in the train, sort of. We weren't messed up, no attacks, no moods, no loneliness, but that's what we are now, except the loneliness because we kept each other company. Peeta tucked me into bed, and was walking out of my bedroom.

"Wait," I choke out. Peeta turns around and raises his eyebrow, from what I see. "Stay here, I don't want to keep facing the nightmares alone."

"Why should I?" he asks and stares at me. Yes, why should he? We're just friends, but more than that, I still think of that feeling I had in the cave and on the beach when I kissed him.

"Because, I need you," I admit. It's not enough. "I need you with me, in the train, when we slept together, you kept all the nightmares away, and I realized that I was happy when we were like that. I want that again." After awhile, he walks back towards me and I move to the other side of the bed. He unbuttons his shirt to make it more comfortable for him. I move closer to him and he wraps an arm around me. I put my head on his chest and close my eyes. I hear his steady heartbeat against his chest and I relax.

"I love you, Katniss," he murmurs. "I missed you, I just have these memories where they don't make sense, like I loved you, and I still do." I look up to see his face, and he's smiling. Two years ago, if we didn't go through all this together, I would've said, 'I know." But I know that there's something between me and Peeta, maybe that day, years ago, was a sign. A sign that we would protect each other no matter what we go through. When I kissed Gale, there might've been something there, but it didn't work out. Peeta doesn't deserve what I've caused, he needs someone who will make him happy and no pain, but he's set on me. I care for him truly. Okay, what do I think of Peeta. He's smart, sweet, kind, persuasive, and charming. What we've been through is so much, that you can't just forget. We're not friends, it's more than that. He kisses me when he notices that I'm thinking. I don't hesitate, and I join in. The warmth, desperation, wanted.

"I missed you," he whispers as he kisses my cheek, down to my neck, then to my shoulder and works his way back. "I love you," he whispers. This- all of this makes me feel all warm and tingly inside, the only way Peeta can, and I want more. I kiss him as he's back to my lips and I pull back and gulp for air.

"I love you, Peeta Mellark," I say, and I actually mean it, it's not for the cameras, it's for the both of us. He freezes.

"You what?" he says making sure he's not dreaming I said this. He looks at me and blinks a couple of times.

"I love you," I confirm and laugh. He moves and looks into my eyes.

"Wait what? Did you just-" he trails off and kisses my forehead. "You love me, real or not real?"

"Real," I say with a smile. I feel my heart beating fast and my cheeks starting to become red. "I need you in my life, to heal me. I want you, because I feel so lonely inside without you. And I love you, because I fell for you. If you aren't here with me, I won't be sane." That's the day we moved in together, he practically lived in my house anyway.

*End of flashback*

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice brings me back to reality. I smile and shake my head. "Are you okay? You seemed staring into space."

"Do you remember that day when I told you I loved you? I was thinking about it," I say. He smiles, he does remember it, of course he does, because he would never forget it. "Peeta?" He's in a trance of happiness, probably replaying that day like I was. I snap my fingers in front of his face, trying to get him out of it, I sigh and I kiss him. Of course, he's out of the trance, he pulls away for air and he smiles at me.

"I knew that would work," he chuckles. I roll my eyes and I open the closet door. Peeta and I walk out of the closet, hand in hand. I find Gale watching the news, sitting on the chair and we go to the couch and sit down. Rebuilding of the districts, the headline says in bold letters and then it goes to the reporter.  
"Hello, citizens of Panem, we are here live, in District 12, where our star-crossed lovers live. Behind us," she motions to the background. "Is the rest of the Justice Building, where in a few days, everything will be rebuilt. We will be checking up on Katniss and Peeta, later on during of the making. Now, back to you, Cirus." Peeta and I look at each other and I groan. Paparazzi? When will we ever be left alone? Possibly never, why can't they just stop. We've caused enough that people are probably annoyed and bored with us. Haymitch walks in, and slams the door behind him, he walks towards us and stops by the sight of Gale.

"What is he doing here? You do know that the camera crew are going to be here in matter of days, maybe tomorrow," he hisses. I open my mouth to start and he cuts me off. "They know about him not being your cousin, because someone slipped it out. Katniss, they're never going to go away. You better get him out of here or they will think that you, might be cheating on your lover." I grunt because I know he's right, they won't go away and they can always do anything.

"Everyone knows that Katniss and I live together, he can stay here, no one checks my house. I only come in here to bake, he can stay low on profile. You know Katniss well, Haymitch, she will sneak in," Peeta says smoothly. That's true, when there's cameras, I'll do anything to stay away from them.

"Fine, but Katniss, just be on the look out, you never know if there's hidden cameras," he smirks and walks out, mostly stumbles out. My eyes go wide and I know that he's not joking, but I don't want to believe him.

"Well, I'm exhausted. I'll stay low, just in case of the cameras. Goodnight," says Gale and he's gone. Peeta and I decide to go home, after a while, he didn't want to miss the news. I must've fell asleep because when I woke up, I was in my bed and Peeta was asleep. The moon was shining through the windows and the curtains, it was about 2 in the morning. I sit up, and stroke Peetas hair, looking at him sleep. He looks so peaceful, and almost like the boy before the Games, I feel a smile come up on my face. I'll never forget that memory, and I'll never stop owing a bunch of people. I slide back down and rest my head on his chest, he kisses my head and puts an arm around me. He always kept the nightmares away, he was the answer to it, and he healed me. But there's always a day where there's some nightmares, we're healing slowly. I fall asleep with a smile on my face and when I wake up he's there, smiling.

"What?" I say, my voice kind of hoarse. Why can't I say things smoothly like him. He laughs quietly and strokes my hair.

"Oh, it's nothing. I had a dream, a good one, it was when we were on the train, going to Quarter Quell. When we were spending those last days together on the roof," he says, looking at me.

"You remember that?" I whisper. The phone rings downstairs and I groan. Something always ruins the peace, it gets annoying. Peeta starts to get up and I push him down lightly. "No, I'll get it. Stay here." The phones still ringing and I rush downstairs then answer the phone. I was forced to answer the phone or they would have to put one of those things around my head and I didn't want that, so I gave in and agreed to answer every phone call.

"Hello?" I say into the phone.

"Katniss?" Dr. Aurelius says. "How are you doing? Any nightmares? Moods?"

"Well," I begin and I bite my lip. "I had some nightmares, no moods, but I think there will be some considering that the cameras are coming. Peeta's been helping me."

"I heard. I also heard that he lives with you now, is that right?" he asks. I nod and gulp. How can he know that? Hidden cameras, just like Haymitch said.  
"Yeah, he practically lived here anyway," I respond.

"Oh, I see. Well, do me a favor, and tell Peeta to call me back in an hour or whenever he is available, talk to you soon, Katniss," he says and hangs up without letting me answer. He said later, so later to me, means _later_ and he already ruined the peace and quiet. I put the phone back and head back upstairs. When I walk into my room I see Peeta changing shirts, I wince when I see his scars on his back and I just can't get over that. I remember when all those scars were gone, he looked so flawless and his skin was so clear and all this, was my fault. If I didn't do the stupid thing with the nightlock then, none of this would happen. But then it means that President Snow would still be here, which means the Hunger Games would still be here, everything. I just wish it wasn't Peeta, it should've been me. All the nightmares, all the scars, will just lead to questions if we have children and I just can't tell them, if we ever have any. It'll never go away and that's mostly why I don't want children because I don't want them to know our past and how the world used to be. How will I ever do it? It'll just bring back everything, not that it goes away, but it'll just be hard to actually explain it to them, to say everything carefully. I think Peeta would do all the talking, but then, I know that they would ask me because sometimes I never get away with Peeta doing all the talking. They would probably ask me, Why was it like that? How was Primrose like? How was it like before everything happened? What happened in the arena? Did you love 'Daddy/Dad' at the right moment like he did? How did President Snow look like? How was he like? What happened during the dark days? How did you get the scars or the things on your back? Were you terrified? Were you afraid to lose him? How did you kill other people, was it hard for you?

"Katniss?" Peeta snaps me out of my thoughts. It seems like I wasn't thinking for a while but it was actually ten minutes already. I realize that I'm sweating and my hands are shaking. He looks at me if I'm okay, he probably has been trying to get me out of my thoughts. It's like a nightmare, but you're awake. I nod slowly in response and that makes him even more worried.

"I'm fine," I say and he relaxes a little bit. I just can't have children, I can't bear it.

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***READ NOW!***

**Hey, so I thought of good ideas while making those questions and writing this chapter, I don't know if you guys have been waiting for me to update but here it is. And if you were, sorry, I've been traveling lately and I needed my laptop for this. Sorry for mistakes, review and drop a comment. Follow, favorite, anything if you like it and you want more. If I don't get any more reviews or anything, then I'll just quit because I have no other purpose. So, yeah. Sorry for the long thing.**


	3. Chapter 3: The Camera Crews Are Back

**Hey there! So, one person told me to continue... so I guess I am. Uh, as always Katniss is "blind" at things. **

* * *

"Are you sure? You don't seem fine to me," says Peeta. He comes close to me and touches my forehead, checking if I have a fever. "No fever, what's wrong?" I don't want to tell him about the children, I don't want to bring it up again. I bite my lip and decide whether to tell him or not.

"No, I'm fine, I was just thinking about Prim and I guess it was like a nightmare, but I'm awake," I lie. I'll never be good at lying to Peeta, as smoothly as him. He knows I'm lying, always does. He waits for a minute and the silence kills me, I almost tell him, but Gale comes to my rescue. He knocks on the door and barges in.

"Morning, sorry that I came late," he smirks. I turn to him and give him a thankful look. "Did I interrupt something?"

"No, we were just talking, and we were going to eat breakfast," I say before Peeta can say anything. Gale raises an eyebrow at me and I see him have eye contact with Peeta and Gale shrugs. I walk downstairs by myself and sit on the couch, continuing my sleep. I lay on my side on grab the blanket on top of the couch, covering myself. I hear heavy footsteps and instantly, I know it's them. I feel someone behind me, watching me, and it bothers me. After five minutes, they're still there, I groan and I turn around. Peeta's been looking at me for five minutes, and he looks sad. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he says quickly, too quickly. I stare at him. _No more surprises,_ I think.

"_Please,_ don't tell me that you scheduled anything with the cameras, or anything to do with the Capitol," I plead. I hate the cameras, so much that I would win an award for hating it. If there was an award for it, though. "No more surprises, right?"

"Last night, before we came home, Haymitch came in and said that the camera crews and the paparazzi were coming today, without warning. Some how he knew about it," he says slowly. Oh god, the cameras? They're the last thing I want! Why are they coming? They haven't even started rebuilding! I groan in response. I dash into the closet and lock myself in there, pitched black. I bring my knees to my chest, hugging them closely and putting my chin on them. Peeta knocks on the door calling my name and telling me to come out. I hear knocking from what sounds like the front door and I try to hide myself even though no one can come inside.

"Hello, Peeta. Where is Katniss?" I hear Effie's excited voice say. Why can't they just go _away. _I hear many footsteps in the house now.

"She went out this morning," he lies. Finally. I know he would want to talk about the cameras and me hiding every time the cameras come.

"Oh, okay. Well, we'll be back. Call us when she comes back, we will still be here," says Effie. I hear a door close and Peeta's footsteps coming closer to the closet.

"Katniss, please come out," he says smoothly. I bite my lip, reaching out to the knob. "Please?" I sigh and I unlock the door, I can just see the smile on his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't know and I just found out last night. That's why I wanted to answer the phone because I didn't know if it was one of the camera crews wanting an interview with us. I didn't know," he babbles. I laugh and he raises his eyebrow.

"It's okay, I think. I mean, I don't want them here, but-" he cuts me off.

"I didn't want you to do this, hide and probably run off to the woods. If you would run away and I couldn't find you. What would I do? I know you don't want them here, but I promise that I'll get them away soon. I'll do anything," he says and I laugh quietly. "What?"

"Peeta, I wouldn't run off, well away from District Twelve. Maybe, but I won't because remember, that we get through everything together?" I ask, looking into his eyes. He sighs in relief, probably not having to explain even more with one of his speeches. And I thought he was good with the speeches, he is but I never thought that he would have trouble with it. Well it's different this time, it's weird and amusing. I grab his hand and we walk into the living room. "How long are they going to be here?"

"Haymitch said that that they'll be here forever, until we let them have what they want, an interview. Most likely and exclusive, like how our lives are now, any plans during the future, and a tour inside our home probably," he explains.

"I'll do anything to get them away from here," I say bluntly. He nods and Gale comes out of the kitchen. He has a smirk on his face and he sits on the couch. He's hiding something, I just know it. "Gale?" He turns around and looks at me, waiting for me to ask. "What are you hiding?"

He laughs and turns back around. "Nothing. Just uh, don't you think that they're going to want more than that?" He's right and I hate it when he's right. They won't go away, ever, and probably never. I sigh and groan.

"Peeta, he's right, they won't leave. They probably won't even leave. What if they'll follow us around? Then, we'll be forced to run off to District Thirteen, and I don't want to leave. What if we had no choice and had to go to the Capitol and disguise our names. What if we had to live underground again?" I babble and they both look at me. They both burst out laughing and whenever they die down, they look back at me, but it sets them off again. They're laughing at me? They know that I hate the cameras. I sprint outside and I hear them calling my name, full-serious though. I see cameras and I run behind a bush. Them in their Capitol clothes, lately the latest fashion in the Capitol is striped funky neon colors, but they're like dresses and they're hard to take off, as I heard. Yellow, green, blue, red, pink, and purple makeup. Gross, I just don't understand fashion. I stumble on something and I fall to ground, causing attention to me. Damn! Okay Katniss, now what? I look around and I run to the woods as if I was in the Hunger Games again running away from the Cornucopia. Some of the camera crews are following me, chasing after me.

"Katniss! Katniss! Mokingjay!" they call after me, taking pictures and probably recording live right now. I try to confuse them and make them run into each other, but it wont work! I stop in front of a tree, while they're still running full speed, and when they're close to me, barely slowing down, and I quickly hide behind the tree, making them bump into it. I smirk when I see them, all on the floor, cameras broken and run back home, making sure there was no one following me. I make it to the Victors Village and I end up in front of Haymitch's house, I barge in and he's eating. Greasy Sae must have made him something to eat again. I look around the house and it's spotless. Everything clean, no dishes piled up in the sink, no broken bottles on the floor, nothing dirty whatsoever. He's sitting at the dining table drinking a glass of water with a scowl on his face, when he sees me. Not a shocker, it happens all the time, when I cause things, just like the thing with the camera crew. I can just picture them, struggling with their makeup and wigs, the sweat. I laugh in pity.

"What did your little star-crossed lover do now?" he smirks at me when I sit in front of him. I huff as a response and I tap on the table until he gets annoyed. "Stop that!" I smirk, it worked.

"He didn't do anything, I did actually," I say, waiting for him to snap at me. He only looks at me. "I went outside, and I was spying on these camera crews, and when I was planning to leave, but I tripped I guess, falling on the floor. All of the camera crews were chasing after me and I made them bump into a tree, then that's when I came over here."

He shakes his head, and groans. "Do you have to do this all the time? Mess up and make things go wrong?" I shrug and he sighs, taking another sip of his water. "And I'll have to fix this, as always." I smiled and he scowls.

"Thanks Haymitch," I say as I get off of the chair and kiss his cheek, which brings him to a surprise. I skip as I walk out and slam the door behind me. I'm never doing that again. _Okay, now I have to make sure there's no cameras around,_ I thought. I look from side to side and run towards the house, just as one of the camera people spot me, I slam the door and lock it. I slide down to the floor, exhausted a little and I stay there for a while. No one is home, they must have went somewhere or something. What, just what did I ever do to be followed by cameras? Oh right, those stupid berries got us into this. What's done is done and there's no going back. I get up and decide to take a shower, I go upstairs into the bathroom. I strip off my clothes and my undergarments, I jump into the shower after that. When the water stops assaulting me with hot water and cold water, I clean myself, then wash my hair, but I refuse to use conditioner even though I know that Flavius will eventually get mad. I sigh knowing that I can't run away from the cameras my whole life no matter how much I hide from them. I can always pronounce that I'm dead, but that would cause even more chaos, leading that all the attention to District 12 and every interview how Peeta is managing with this. Every interview, every camera crew at our house, the Capitol would probably want Peeta there. I shake my head and let the thoughts go away. I get out of the shower and wrap a fluffy white towel around me, walking into my room, sneaking clothes. A knock comes from the door and I quickly walk back into the bathroom, hiding from the intruder. Luckily, I grabbed a green t-shirt and some pants, I change into them and I put my hair into a side-braid. I walk out the door and I find Gale inside, smiling at me, I roll my eyes and his smile turns into a smirk. I nod and get my clothes, putting them into the basket for dirty laundry. He's just sitting there, on the bed, smiling at me and watching my every move, it's starting to freak me out.

"What?" I blurt out. He bursts out into laughter, he's crying so much, that he has tears in his eyes. I wait impatience, tapping my foot, with my arms across my chest and I give him one of those looks. "What?" I repeat, annoyed. What is so funny? There's nothing that appeared funny.

"You, I almost ran into you, and then I made you uncomfortable, which is hilarious," he smirks. What's with him smirking a lot? Not very attractive at all, not that I think he is. Yeah, he's handsome, but we just got through a lot these past 2 years. I narrow my eyes at him and he wipes a tear away from his eye. "Come on, Catnip. Lighten up a bit."

"Whatever," I murmur, turning away from him, heading out the door. Gale grabs my wrist and I turn around facing him. He tries to hold in a laugh, but has a serious face. "What?" I don't know how many times I said that today.

"What if I said that we have a baby together?" he asks, still in a serious matter. My eyes widen at that, staring at him in shock.

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**You won't believe what happens next. If you read this, tune in for next time! Sorry it's such a suckish chapter and short, I have a ton of homework to finish, which includes writing. **


	4. Chapter 4: The Things You See, Scar You

"W-what!" I exclaim. He laughs even harder than last time, wow, joker. He falls on the bed curled up, holding his stomach, and laughing his head off. I walk up to him and punch him in the stomach, that shut him up.

"Oh you should have seen your face!" he says low. I scowl at him and slap him across the face. I walk towards the door, while he's in pain. I slapped that face pretty hard.

"You should have seen _your _face," I growl and laugh as I slam the door behind me. I walk downstairs and Peeta is having another flashback, I sigh, walking up to him carefully. He has a tight grip on the chair, with his eyes shut tight and trying to make them go away. I carefully put my hand on his shoulder. "Peeta... Peeta!" I shake his shoulder and it takes him thirty seconds to come back. Peeta slowly opens his eyes, one by one and takes his hands off the arm of the chair. As he takes his hands off, I notice that, he indented the arm of the chair from griping onto it, since he always uses that chair for his flashbacks for some unknown reason. I sigh and grab his hand, he kisses lightly, but I could feel his lips twitch ever so slightly. Why him? It should have been me. I caused all of this and I'll always feel guilty no matter how much Peeta says that it's not my fault.

"Katniss, I'm okay, it just came out of no where," he says holding my arm. I look down at them and nod slowly. "What's wrong?" No, don't bring everything up, lie, lie like it's your job.

"Nothing, I was thinking of cheese buns," I try to pull off with a smile. Peeta's face is hard at first, trying to figure what's going on in my head, but it softens and he smiles back.

"Oh okay, do you want some?" he asks me, standing up. I nod and he takes me to the kitchen where he already made some, he sets them on the table and grabs three plates. Gale. Where is he? I turn around and run upstairs into my room, he's not there. I go into Peeta's studio, not there, into the bathrooms, not there, closets not there. I go into the basement and it's completely dark inside. I flip on the light switch, and it doesn't come on. Gale jumps me from behind and makes me trip, causing me to fall on my face. He's just laughing his head off.

"You jerk!" I scream. I kick him in the leg and I head back upstairs, holding my nose. It hurts, I groan and put some ice on it. Peeta rushes towards me, examining it. He raises his eyebrow and Gale appears, out of no where, Peeta floors Gale. I run over to them and try to pull them apart, but nothing works. I sigh, and I know what I have to do. I scream at the top of my lungs and they both put their hands on their ears, staring at me. I stop screaming and pull them apart, standing in the middle of them.

"Now, you two stop it!" I collapse on the chair, holding my nose and stuff a cheese bun in my mouth, glaring at them. Their eyes go wide, they know not to do anything else that would make me mad. I make a "humph" sound, and they sit quietly on the floor.

"Well? Aren't you going to eat?" I snap. The shuffle and bump into each other as they sit down, eating. That shows them, they know that I get touchy. They stare at their plates and eat the cheese buns slowly, debating whether they should say something. It's all over their faces. I try not to laugh, it's funny, I'm not even that mean, maybe. After I'm done, I put the dish in the sink and they start whispering, I turn around and shoot them a deadly glare. I smirk and burst out laughing, I look at them and they just have confused looks on their faces.

"What?" they both say at the same time.

"Are you really scared of me?" I frown.

"Well you can be scary sometimes, Katniss," says Peeta. Gale nods in agreement and I pout. Peeta comes towards me and hugs me. "We didn't mean to make you upset, you know that we would never do that."

"Yeah, Catnip, we care about you," says Gale. I nod and pull away from Peeta and flop on the couch. They both come near me and Gale sits next to me.

"You guys are gullible," I mumble. Their heads both snap at me, I quickly run upstairs into my room, grab my hunting jacket and put it on. I get my boots, socks and put them on. I head back downstairs, trying not to make any eye contact with any of them. I grab my bag, as I'm walking outside and I can feel their gaze on me, I slam the door behind me, making my way to the woods. I stop walking, and decide I haven't been to my old house at the Seam, I change my direction and walk towards it. A lot has changed recently, well due to the reconstruction there's more houses, or at least it seems to have more houses. They look new, sort of, they don't look so old, and they're white and grey. I sigh and I notice I found my old house, nobody touched it because they knew I would get upset. Still the same house, I walk through the door and everything is still in place. I sit on the chair, where we would eat, with Prim laughing... _Stop. You have to let go, Katniss, _I thought. I wipe the tiny tear away that was rolling down my cheek. I walk out of my old house because it's too much for me, what's in the past is in the past, well that's what Dr. A told me to do to forget about it.

I start walking towards the meadow and sit down by a nearby tree, I end up sliding down until I'm completely on the ground. If someone would see me, it would look like I'm having a nervous breakdown, since my eyes are probably a little pink and my curled up into a ball. (Armadillo style ;D) I'm there for what seems like an hour, once I'm calm again, I go home. While I'm walking home, I see the camera crews asking some people if they've seen me, thankfully they shake their heads and say they haven't seen me around. I go in the back way towards the Victors Village and there's camera crews in the front of our house, won't they ever go away? They aren't clever enough that I know there's a back away to go inside. Someone taps my shoulder as I'm about to run to the back way of the house, I jump and quickly turn around. Gale has a smirk on his face and I glare at him.

"You scared me," I hiss and put an index finger on my mouth. I start running and Gale pulls me back, making me collapse on him. It causes a big thud noise so loud that someone could hear us. Loud footsteps are coming towards our way, I panic and I get off of Gale and drag him to the other side of the house.

"What are you talking about? Nothing's here," a male's voice says. The loud footsteps go farther for me to hear, I wait for about two minutes to make sure the guy isn't there. I slowly walk as if I was hunting, small quiet steps and I peek to see if they're hiding. Gale catches up to me, quiet steps, like me, I nod at him signaling that it's clear. I run first as fast as I can, it's not that fast, but no one would notice me running. When I make it to the back of my house, I nod again so that he could run over here and he checks one more time that it's clear, making his way over here. Unlike me, he walks, but being a tall guy with long legs it doesn't take him a while to get by my side. I slide through the basement window and fall on the floor, I roll over knowing that he'll probably crush me if he fell on me. He makes it through and makes another loud thump noise. I get up and brush myself off, Gale still on the floor he puts his hand out, as he needs help to get up. I yank his arm and he quickly comes back up. We walk upstairs into the kitchen and it's so bright, compared to the basement. (This is a little OOC, I have to get back into her character, I know.) I'm walking towards the living room, guessing that Peeta is watching the afternoon news, I come to halt and my jaw drops. This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

Haymitch and Sae making out.

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**So isn't weird? Sae and Haymitch making out? I'm so so so sorry! I had writers block for some unknown reason and I'm getting a little OOC, sorry for that. Then my internet went out! Ugh, I'm so stupid for keeping my documents in here, instead of having them on my laptop. God, writers block sucks, okay I'm writing too much for an Author's Note. Oh one more thing! Since I'm getting back into school, I will be updating less, have to do summer homework before you know I go back. I'll write as much as I can! Sorry for the short chapter.**

**~Sof. **


	5. Chapter 5 Just a Notice thats important

**Hey you. Are you still reading? Please review! If you don't I won't continue. It inspires me to write more when you review!**

**Nothing for this! Just a notice.**


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